When I read President Obama’s weekly remarks today, I couldn’t help wondering how he and his speechwriters arrived at the final copy. And just as I was heading out the door to enjoy the marvelous spring weather, the following transcript miraculously arrived in my mailbox. Thanks to whoever sent it.
||“My top priority” rings hollow. Everybody knows I haven’t made economic growth a top priority. But nobody disagrees that it should be #1 “as a nation.” (Stay away from “pivot”)True is the opposite of false. Since we’re not telling the truth as we see it, make sure to use the word “true” wherever possible.|
|Today, seven years after the real estate bubble burst, triggering the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression and costing millions of responsible Americans their jobs and their homes, our housing market is healing. Sales are up. Foreclosures are down. Construction is expanding. And thanks to rising home prices over the past year, 1.7 million more families have been able to come up for air, because they’re no longer underwater on their mortgages.||Remember, we bailed out hundreds of thousands of irresponsible folks who bought homes they couldn’t afford. Use the word “responsible” to make everyone feel good.
Nice extended metaphor! Air vs water! Good! (Give Cody a pat on the back.)
|From the day I took office, I’ve made it a priority to help responsible homeowners and prevent the kind of recklessness that helped cause
||Again, focus on “responsible” homeowners. It gives the irresponsible ones credit, and satisfies those who are footing the bill. Use “helped cause” but don’t say what’s reckless. Let people hear what they want.|
|My housing plan has already helped
||Mortgage rates are down regardless of any “plan” but take credit anyway.|
|My new consumer watchdog agency is moving forward on
||Always use “new” to fight the unspoken “old” Bush = Backward. Obama = Forward. (Love it! Who came up with that again? Pat back.) “Simpler” sounds good, even though nothing is actually simpler. Nice way to combat the hideous complexity of PPACA.|
|But we’ve got more work to do.
||Recent polls show voters think I work hard for what I believe, so “more work” is better.
Add “working” to jive with union tagline “working families.”
|Last week, I nominated a man named Mel Watt to take on these challenges as the head of the Federal Housing Finance Agency. Mel’s represented the people of North Carolina in Congress for 20 years, and in that time, he helped lead efforts to put in place rules of the road that protect consumers from dishonest mortgage lenders, and give responsible Americans the chance to own their own home. He’s the right person for the job, and that’s why Congress should do its job, and confirm him without delay.||Everybody knows Congress sucks. Can’t we leave out the fact that he was in Congress? OK. Mention “the people” that Mel represented.
Responsible again! Good! Great add!
Mel did his job for 20 years, now the do-nothing Congress should do theirs.
|And they shouldn’t stop there. As I said before, more than two million Americans have already refinanced at today’s low rates, but we can do a lot better than that. I’ve called on Congress to give every responsible homeowner the chance to refinance, and with it, the opportunity to save $3,000 a year. That’s like a $3,000 tax cut. And if you’re one of the millions of Americans who could take advantage of that, you should ask your representative in Congress why they won’t act on it.||Responsible. Yeah, yeah. Ad nauseum, but it works.Figure out how to use the words “tax cut” (pat on the back for Cody).
Should I mention the IRS scandal? (Cody and I agree. No.)
Remember to demonize Congress.
|Our economy and our housing market are poised for progress — but we could do so much more if we work together. More good jobs. Greater security for middle-class families. A sense that your hard work is rewarded. That’s what I’m fighting for — and that’s what I’m going to keep fighting for as long as I hold this office. Thank you. And have a great weekend.||I can fix America all by myself, but that doesn’t resonate. Add “togetherness” – but Hillary’s “it takes a village” is just too much.
We’re not rewarding actual hard work (see use of “responsible” above) but I can’t say that. Hmm … “sense” works.
|###||Go with it! – Bo|